Are you a parent, step parent, carer or family member of a teenager?
We offer mentoring and coaching specifically for adults with teenagers and young adults in their lives.
One to one parenting/carer support:
Our one to one mentoring or coaching can help support you in your role as parent/ step parent or carer.
See below information on content and pricing.
Book here for a FREE Consultation call
We offer a free 30 minute initial call to discuss your needs and how we can best support you.
We may signpost you to other organisations or therapeutic work that we recommend.
We are leading a 6 week course called
Adults- walk and talk sessions:
Outdoors option in Covid times for safe individual mentoring sessions.
One hour- cost: £45- 65 ( sliding scale)
Young People- walk and talk sessions:
We offer one to one mentoring for young people.
One hour of outdoor mentoring is:
30- 45 ( sliding scale)
We look forward to hearing from you and working with you.
See below for information on what our mentoring is based on:
Mentoring is an old concept and has been around since time began. It is where older adults support, guide and actively spend quality time with younger adults as they navigate the often tricky and challenging waters of adolescence into adult life.
Here are some quotes that resonate with our definition of mentoring:
'A supportive learning relationship between a caring individual who shares knowledge, experience and wisdom with another individual who is ready and willing to benefit from this exchange, to enrich their journey". - Suzanne Faure
Mentoring involves primarily listening with empathy, sharing experience (usually mutually), developing insight through reflection, being a sounding board, encouraging" - David Clutterbuck"
Mentoring is a protected relationship in which learning and experimentation can occur, potential skills can be developed, and in which results can be measured in terms of competencies gained". - Audrey Collin
"Mentoring is a long term relationship that meets a development need, helps develop full potential, and benefits all partners, mentor, mentee and the organisation". - Suzanne Faure"
Our work is based on these principles which we include in all the many aspects of what we do:
We practice to LAAMBi - Listen, Accept, Admire, Model, Bless. Information sharing
- L I S T E N - With quietly focused attention; free of judgment, analysing, critique or responses, we give the boy time and our complete attention to be sure he has had the opportunity to express the “Heart of the Matter”. To be certain that we have understood we reflect what was said in our own words so that he knows that they have been heard. Any questions are to seek understanding and clarification. Are open, in the spirit of gentle enquiry in getting to understand this other person.
- A CC E P T - We meet the young person where and as they are, without judgment. We seek to form a relationship with them as they are now and learn about their world. We see their beauty and wounds and make room for both in our heart. While we are interested in where they might need to be and what they have the potential to become, our primary focus is on accepting them just as they are now. We do this by focussing on who they are rather than what they do. And no matter what they do, that can become a place of compassionate enquiry.
- A D M I R E - We allow ourselves to “see” their gifts, strengths and unique genius and we relate to them by believing in them. We make space for them to shine and we smile when they do. This is about what they do, and how we see the value, meaning and purpose of that.
- M O D E L - We teach through example more often than with words. We behave as we want them to learn to behave. We are guided by the awareness that “Children do as we do, not as we say”. We seek to show up as good and honest men and women, knowing that for better or worse, the young people will emulate us.
- B L E S S- We use simple, clear and direct words to express, from the heart, the beauty, honesty, courage, and compassion the young person offers. We take opportunities to sincerely reflect their positives back to them in a genuine way. (We do not use superficial, pretty words to manipulate or to seek an end [for example, to build his confidence). Blessing, or appreciations, is about who they are, and how that touches us personally and makes a difference.
- I N F O R M A T I O N- sharing appropriate and specific information as and when it is needed, including signposting to further support, resources and advice.
- © Boys to Men International, 2011 Journeyman UK Created by Douglas MacIntyre & David Cordes . used in aggreemnt with BtM Intnl and edited by Liz Terry and Ianto Doyle ( 2019)
Authenticity vs detached professionalism:
When mentors can interact authentically and honestly as human beings within the context of a group mentoring sessions, this can help young people to find and appreciate their own authentic qualities.
Professional client based work which often operates with a more 'detached' impersonal approach is often found to not be as effective and transformative for the young person.
What Mentoring is not:
It is not counselling, therapy, or indeed forcing any out come, or making people do or be what they are not.
The inter action is primarily held with the intention that the mentee is responsible for their life and their journey. The mentor is there to witness and support this, whilst simultaneously offering skills, learnt tools and reflections when needed.
We REFRAIN from FRAPP - Fix, Rescue, Advise, Project, Process.
- F I X - We don’t provide suggestions or directions as to how they should deal with their life. We don’t jump in to solve problems for them. We do not respond with quick solutions. Rather we believe in their capacity to sort out and run their own lives, and live with the consequences of their choices. We may offer information, checking this is okay first. We may ask if they would like to hear from others, who speak personally about themselves from their own experience. Using phrasing like ‘maybe..’, ‘I find…’, ‘perhaps…’, ‘have you considered…’
- R E S C U E - We don’t interact in ways that minimize, cover or deny feelings, theirs or our own. We don’t offer advice, cliché’s or otherwise redirect them from experiencing feelings. We support owning feelings and guide to inner resources. We are not here to protect them from the world or themselves, but to allow them to face into who they are and what they do, and work out what they may want to do with that knowing.
- A D V I S E - We resist the temptation to offer advice, especially unsolicited advice. We are not in a position to take responsibility for their life or for their outcomes. Our responsibility is to guide them to their own authentic knowing and truth. We do not have to live with the consequences of our advice to another, they do Information, and signposting maybe useful ( see above)
- P R O C E S S - We do not intellectualize about feelings or use techniques that encourage answering intellectual questions about feelings or a yes/no answer. We help connect them to their feelings so that they discover their individual path to healing and resolution. By dropping into a whole experience of thought, feeling, body sensation, and connection they find a deep wisdom and personal insight and growth. Our need to intellectualise is probably out of our own discomfort or habits.
- P R O J E C T - We are careful not to confuse our issues with the boy’s. We do not work out our unresolved childhood wounds through the young person. We are especially aware of those who remind us of ourselves because of the temptation to rewrite our story through them. We remember that it is our role to remain a neutral lighthouse or safe harbour wall for them. For egs, if we find ourselves saying, that’s like when I....
- All the above may be characterised as projections and my need for you to be different to who you are so that I can avoid my own discomfort.
- © Boys to Men International, 2011 Journeyman UK Created by Douglas MacIntyre & David Cordes.
- Added to by Liz Terry and Ianto Doyle (2019)